Giving Thanks

It’s that time of year again – the most wonderful time or something like that – time for food and football and ah, yes, the “F” word: Family. Our holiday season is kicked off with the overeaters’ favorite and the first installation of crowded living rooms and dining rooms the country over – Thanksgiving. My Thanksgiving definitely got me thinking about changing times and what Family really is and with a divorce rate generally lingering around fifty percent, I wondered how my thankful table matched up with others. I have come to think the picture of my little table this past Thursday was a modern Norman Rockwell.

Here is how we were seated: the heads of the table were occupied by me and my live-in boyfriend; the innards were filled with my three sons and my ex-husband. Yes, my EX husband and father of my children. I know it sounds crazy to many. The people to whom I recited my turkey day guest list all looked back at me with eyes that, I swear, had those cartoon black-and-white spirals swirling around. The funny thing about my family is I live next door to my ex. When my children spend an evening or a weekend with their dad, they simply walk next door; if they forget to bring something to dad’s, there is a rap at the door followed by a, “Sorry, Mom. I need my…” and this works for us. Quite well, actually. So when November rolled around, my boyfriend and I had a conversation about inviting the ex to our table. There was never a hesitation or any doubt my ex-husband would be invited. The only question was whether or not he would accept.

Well, he did. Initially. Then after a spirited difference of opinions a few weeks prior to Thanksgiving, my ex-husband told my oldest son (the one most attached to him) over the phone that he would not be attending our feast. The look on my son’s face as he received the news was torturous. My boyfriend, a child of divorce with a neglectful father, couldn’t bear to see the hurt in my son’s eyes. So much so that, of his own volition, my boyfriend called my ex-husband and asked him to put aside any differences or hurt feelings and sit with us for a few hours on a special Thursday not for me, not for him, but for three little boys who never asked to be a part of this familial rearranging. And he did.

So there we were, our little dysfunctional family celebrating our first dysfunctional Thanksgiving, going around the table sharing with each other one thing we were thankful for. When the wave of thanks reached my ex-husband there was a pause and then this: “I am thankful for a phone call that talked me into getting over myself and coming here to celebrate with my family.”

I have so much to be thankful for.

A clebration of awesomeness

I was trying to decide what in the world I should blog about. I am fine when I have a specific assignment but when given a blank slate, nothing! So I finished dinner with my boys and said, "Ugh! What should I blog about?" My oldest son said, "The Steelers!" My boyfriend said, "Blog about how sick you have been all week." Then my middle son said, "Blog about how awesome I am!" And there I had it. He is pretty awesome. All three boys are. Sadly, my hectic schedule takes me away from them more than I would like and Jake is right - I need to stop and remember how awesome they are.

When I found out I was pregnant with my second son, I couldn't imagine being able to love another child as much as I loved my first. I was so upset at the thought of that and upset at the idea of my uber-loved first son having to learn how to share his mother's love that I cried. A lot. The funny thing is, when they were both in my life I discovered how much room the human heart really has. We have such an amazing capacity for love and we simply fall short all too often. After three children you discover each one is different, each one is special, each one needs and deserves their own special version of love. When we stop to think about that, which I am convinced we don't do nearly enough, isn't that the human condition? Isn't that what we need to understand about each other? We should stop being so critical of one another and remember at one point we were each the child who needed our own special brand of love.

So this is what I am going to try to remember going forward: we all need love, kindness, and understanding, we all have unimaginable space in us to give that to others, and my kids are awesome!

My Press Release

Contact: Meghan Marcus
Administrative Director
(603) 769-3111
mmarcus02@comcast.net

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
October 9, 2008

LOCAL AUTHOR, FINANCIAL ADVISOR CELEBRATES TIMELY RELEASE OF RETIREMENT BOOK

NASHUA, NH – Financial planner Mike Bonacorsi has plenty to be thankful for and on Wednesday, October 22, 2008, Bonacorsi will bring his celebration to the public. Retirement Readiness, a financial guide to retirement written by Bonacorsi, will be unveiled at a cocktail reception at the Crown Plaza Hotel in Nashua, New Hampshire from 7:00 until 9:00 pm. The event is open to the public.

After working as a Certified Financial Planner in the local banking industry for almost twenty years, Bonacorsi has opened his own financial planning business located in Amherst, New Hampshire. Along with the new business, there is also a new book. Bonacorsi has spent the past year writing Retirement Readiness as part of his three-step approach to retirement: creating your vision, knowing your position, and preparing for your future. Combining humor and advice, Bonacorsi helps readers create a guide to planning for retirement. Each chapter contains simple worksheets and checklists to assist with developing a personal retirement plan.

Retirement Readiness, released earlier this month, is available in most bookstores and online and has received positive reviews, including one from Kirkus Discoveries. There will be copies available for purchase at the October 22 event; at just $14.95, the book is a wise investment given the economic atmosphere. For more information about the author, visit www.mikebonacorsi.com.

The Business We're In

I have chosen to use one of the places I work as my subject matter for our class projects that lie ahead. Very part-time I work for a financial planner who recently left the banking industry and has started his own company. Along with that, he has just released his first book and I am very fortunate to see how all of that plays out. Not all of my class projects will be completely truthful; some embellishment is needed because, quite frankly, the financial planning industry just isn't sexy! But I am having fun seeing how what we learn in class ties in with the "real world" and given my interest in possibly pursuing a career in community relations, the assignments are both pertinent and relevant. Here's his website: http://www.mikebonacorsi.com/

Do we ever REALLY grow up?

In our latest assigned addition to our blogs, my media writing class has to write about what we wanted to be when we were young, what we wanted to be when we were teens, and what we want to be now. This gets really tricky for me. You see, I often feel as though I am living my life in reverse. For now, here is what I can best recall...

As a kid, I never wanted to be anything specific. The only thing I was sure of was I wanted to be very successful at something. Anything. Maybe an actress. I wanted my parents to send me to a school of fine arts when I was in sixth grade but that didn't work out. By the time I was in high school, I wanted to go to chiropractic college. In the end, my best friend did the chiropractor thing and is very happy and successful. After high school, I went to what I lovingly call 13th grade (a local college) but didn't take any of that experience seriously and dropped out. Next thing you know I was married, had three kids, moved far away, and was staying at home raising my children.

After having put my life (my selfish "me" life) on hold for over six years, I had a strong sense that it was now my time: time for me to decide where I wanted the rest of my life to go and how to make that happen. So here I am, a Junior at UNH Manchester, plugging away at a degree in Communication Arts. I have thought about many things I might want to do. Originally, I wanted to be a sports broadcaster, maybe sports journalist; sometimes I want to be a community relations person for a local sports franchise. I love sports so any excuse to get paid to watch or work in sports would be wonderful, let's face it. Other times I think about continuing my education and becoming a college professor, but at 36, that seems so incredibly challenging.

Long blog short, I am not much closer to knowing what I want to be at 36 than I was at six. I don't know where I will be in five, ten, or twenty years. However, what I DO know is I am the only one who can make anything happen and school is the way to get wherever that may be. I hope what I do, my hard work, my effort, my sacrifice, and my struggle serve as an example to my children of making your life the way you want it to be. I am poor, I am tired, and I am too often out of mental strength, but the sense of pride in accomplishing my dream of a college degree will, well, I'll just say I can't wait to feel that!

Check it...

These are some links to my professor's blogs. One is for her newest screenplay, Plowing Up a Snake, and the other is for her marketing info. So if I scratch her back, maybe she'll scratch mine. Get it? So please visit. I am sure you will enjoy!

http://plowingupasnake.blogspot.com/

http://myskowski.blogspot.com/

Drinkies

"Drinkies" by artist Lisa Rae Winant

image used by permission of the artist

At the party, Ashton once again found himself in the company of the fox. Their brief conversation three days earlier had piqued Ashton's curiosity and he had wondered if he might cross paths with the fantastic creature once more.

Tonight Ashton was beginning to feel as though the fox was following him - had singled him out for some reason or another. Regardless, the fox's offer was too enticing, too delicious not to consider seriously.

"And you say more money than I would know how to spend?"

"Yes," agreed the fox.

"And I would command the respect of even the most powerful of men?"

"Without question," assured the fox.

"And the most beautiful women would come to me, want to be with me, desire me?"

"Definitely," guaranteed the fox.

"But what is the, as they say, 'catch' to your offer?" Ashton probed. "Surely there must be something you would ask in return."

"Very little, friend. All I ask is you remember who it was that helped you. And when the time comes, when the time is right, I may come to you again and ask a favor, and you will remember this moment and you will reciprocate."

"But what kind of favor might you ask?" inquired Ashton nervously.

"Not to worry. It will be, I am sure, quite in the future and you will have much to do before then. Trust me, friend."

"What shall I do to agree? How should we make our arrangement official?"

"Just have this drink with me," coaxed the fox.

"Peculiar color, eh?" observed Ashton as he brought the cool glass to his greedy lips.